This is to be a fun site where visitors can ask questions and post pictures. We can discuss books, news, or whatever. The only thing we won't do on this site is trash anyone's work
Friday, August 06, 2010
As promised I've been asking some great authors to post on my blog. Why you might ask. Well, for one thing it gives yo a chance to learn about an author you might not be familiar with. For another, even I get tired of hearing myself talk. And the most important reason of all. I love love love hearing what other writers have to say. So without further ado I give you the talented and delightful Carly Carson
The Art of Flirting – D is for Dancing
Dancing comes in as many forms as there are cultures on the planet. But, in every form, dancing expresses emotion. Whether it's the joy of warriors after a successful hunt, the dramatic beauty of ballet, or the sexual display of couples attracted to each other, dance covers a wide range.
But I want to focus on dance as one of the best ways to flirt. It's romantic, intimate and fun.
The flirting starts before you're even on the dance floor. If you're the brave sort, you can always ask the guy to dance (just don't forget how much they like the chase). But if you want him to approach, you can't just sit there daydreaming. You need to establish eye contact (3-5 seconds; no staring) and give him a smile. Studies have shown that most men only approach women who've already initiated contact through subtle invitations like this. Even though the guys don't realize that's why they've decided to approach you. Yes, it's odd, I know. They think they are the brave ones.
Okay, you're dancing. I hope you have some sense of rhythm, even if he doesn't. Start your moves (and read my post on C is for Confidence if you're lacking in that department). It's here.
And here's a key element in cementing your partner's interest. Be sure you make periodic eye contact with the guy whose attention you're seeking. Don't let your eyes dart all over the room as if the place is on fire and you need the exit. If you look like you're scoping out some more appealing target, he may decide to do the same. You don't have to be brazen, but don't be shy, either. Let this guy know that these moves are for him.
Second, even though most dancing today is non-contact dancing, you can still use your dance moves to sneak in some flirtatious touching. Rest your hand lightly on his forearm to get his attention when you want to speak or point something out to him. Accidentally brush his elbow or shoulder when the opportunity arises. (No grabbing; no groping.) Touching him is flirting, even if it appears to be done accidentally. He will get the subliminal message. People touch people they like.
Now of course if you have the opportunity for some "slow" dancing, touching is taken to a new level. Now you get to experience that sublime sensation of his arms around you, his body close to yours. (Those prim Europeans who banned the waltz knew what they were doing.)
You get to decide how intimate your touching will be, and you can send all the messages you want. Obviously, the closer you allow your bodies to get, the greater the interest you are showing. But if you want to flirt, don't plaster yourself all over him. Give him a chance to smell your perfume, to feel your hand in his. Give him the thrill of the chase by not letting him pull you quite as close as he wants to. Engage his brain by making him strategize how he can succeed with you.
Most of all, have fun!!! Remember guys are visual. Dancing is a very visual way to attract him.
This month I'm celebrating the release of my new story, a futuristic romance called The Star Necklace. You can check it out here. My heroine lives on a planet with too many women, so she has to use all her moves to capture the heart of a reluctant warrior who wins her virginity.
My best flirter is Scarlet, who features in Scarlet and the Sheriff, which you can find here. I did a lot of this research to teach her how to bring the Sheriff to his knees and it was great fun.