Friday, August 06, 2010

As promised I've been asking some great authors to post on my blog. Why you might ask. Well, for one thing it gives yo a chance to learn about an author you might not be familiar with. For another, even I get tired of hearing myself talk. And the most important reason of all. I love love love hearing what other writers have to say. So without further ado I give you the talented and delightful Carly Carson

                                                        The Art of Flirting – D is for Dancing

Dancing comes in as many forms as there are cultures on the planet. But, in every form, dancing  expresses emotion. Whether it's the joy of warriors after a successful hunt, the dramatic beauty of ballet, or the sexual display of couples attracted to each other, dance covers a wide range.
But I want to focus on dance as one of the best ways to flirt. It's romantic, intimate and fun.
The flirting starts before you're even on the dance floor. If you're the brave sort, you can always ask the guy to dance (just don't forget how much they like the chase). But if you want him to approach, you can't just sit there daydreaming. You need to establish eye contact (3-5 seconds; no staring) and give him a smile. Studies have shown that most men only approach women who've already initiated contact through subtle invitations like this. Even though the guys don't realize that's why they've decided to approach you. Yes, it's odd, I know. They think they are the brave ones.
Okay, you're dancing. I hope you have some sense of rhythm, even if he doesn't. Start your moves (and read my post on C is for Confidence if you're lacking in that department). It's here.
And here's a key element in cementing your partner's interest. Be sure you make periodic eye contact with the guy whose attention you're seeking. Don't let your eyes dart all over the room as if the place is on fire and you need the exit. If you look like you're scoping out some more appealing target, he may decide to do the same. You don't have to be brazen, but don't be shy, either. Let this guy know that these moves are for him.
Second, even though most dancing today is non-contact dancing, you can still use your dance moves to sneak in some flirtatious touching. Rest your hand lightly on his forearm to get his attention when you want to speak or point something out to him. Accidentally brush his elbow or shoulder when the opportunity arises. (No grabbing; no groping.) Touching him is flirting, even if it appears to be done accidentally. He will get the subliminal message. People touch people they like.
Now of course if you have the opportunity for some "slow" dancing, touching is taken to a new level. Now you get to experience that sublime sensation of his arms around you, his body close to yours. (Those prim Europeans who banned the waltz knew what they were doing.)
You get to decide how intimate your touching will be, and you can send all the messages you want. Obviously, the closer you allow your bodies to get, the greater the interest you are showing. But if you want to flirt, don't plaster yourself all over him. Give him a chance to smell your perfume, to feel your hand in his. Give him the thrill of the chase by not letting him pull you quite as close as he wants to. Engage his brain by making him strategize how he can succeed with you.
Most of all, have fun!!! Remember guys are visual. Dancing is a very visual way to attract him.
This month I'm celebrating the release of my new story, a futuristic romance called The Star Necklace. You can check it out here. My heroine lives on a planet with too many women, so she has to use all her moves to capture the heart of a reluctant warrior who wins her virginity.
My best flirter is Scarlet, who features in Scarlet and the Sheriff, which you can find here. I did a lot of this research to teach her how to bring the Sheriff to his knees and it was great fun.
Thanks for joining me on Dyanne's wonderful blog.



WC said...

Hi Carly enjoyed your blog. I'm married for twenty years now,so no dancing for me, lol. It was very interesting. I am going to pass it on to some of my younger friends.

A.M. Wells said...


Thanks for sharing, I agree dancing is a great way to create, set a mood, or build sexual tensions.


A.M. Wells said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Carmen said...

Great interview Carly...

ladi.3.14 said...

Dancing another form of flirting, very interesting. The interview was very informative.

Anonymous said...

Hi Dyanne,
This is a very good interview and I tell you if Carly is not a writer she should be I can just see her stories with the couple flirting with each other.


Mimi Tremont said...

Fabulous articles Carly. (Of course, I read "C") Each reminds us that seduction's not only an art form, but a subtle one at that. ~ Mimi

Carly Carson said...

Thanks for stopping by, Carmen and Ladi.

Carly Carson said...

Anonymous, if you check out my website (yes, I am a writer) you can see an excerpt from one of my stories (Scarlet and the Sheriff) where they flirt from one end of the story to the other. I love characters flirting, esp. with a sense of humor added.

Carly Carson said...

Mimi, yes seduction is an art form. A fun one. I don't know what you mean "Of course, I read "C". I do have a series of flirting blogs, but I don't remember doing "C". I had to give D to Dyanne. Hmmm, have to go check it out...or did you mean something else?

Carly Carson said...

Mimi, I think I remember. It was C is for Confidence, right? Was that at Cataromance?

Karen D. said...

The article was interesting and informative. Letting him notice your perfume. That works. Telling him, he smells good don't hurt either.

Carly Carson said...

Karen, yes, scent is a subtle form of flirting, but very important. Compliments are always nice.

LaVerne Thompson said...

Great blog, Carly. Dancing is a great way to flirt.


Lise said...

You've given me a lot of food for thought, Carly. I've actually NEVER written a dancing scene into any of my stuff and recalling an incident back in my youth, ahem, I can't imagine why not (it is so very sexy). Great advice!

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