Friday, November 02, 2007


Good morning,

I was just wondering if any of you know the exact moment you started to age. I mean when you really knew it, not when you spotted your first gray hair but when you looked in the mirror and someone else like your mother was staring back out at you.
Now that doesn't mean that I don't think my mother wasn't pretty because she was. But for God's sake she was my mother! And the other thing about it is she's been gone for ten years now. So it's a little spooky to say the least.
When my mother was alive everyone including me thought my sister looked like my mother. Not soon after the funeral I had of course dyed my hair the same color my mom always used. (not on purpose) and relatives were staring at me. I knew the reason but I was ten years younger, no big deal.
Then about five years ago I went to bed with perfect vision and woke not being able to read small print. I went to the eye doctor because something had to be wrong. It was. I was getting old. Then these little things started sprouting on my neck. I'm a nurse but while I'm writing this I can't remember the correct term so I'm just going to keep writing. Anyway these little things are on my neck. UGH!!

Brown spots now pop up on my legs and arms and I still can't make my mother's face leave my mirror. Along comes menopause and well... At least I can say I don't have the usual symptoms. At least not yet and it's been three years.

So how did I know I was going through it. It's too personal to tell here. I was having my pap and told the doctor about it who insisted based on my exam that I wasn't. I told her I was because of some changes that I had noted and insisted on blood work. It came back and yes I had entered that phase of my life. I was just barely crossing it but I was on the doorstep. Guess what as soon as I was proven right the changes I'd noted went away. I knew my body and just wanted paper to back me up.

Now this is the last straw. Well not really because I want to live a long long time. But I was looking at my skin and my God it's looking older. Still soft but older. Now I look in the mirror and Dyanne seems to have disappeared. Where the heck did she go? She can't be the person in the mirror because that's my mother.

Come on talk to me people please. Tell me when did you start to feel old? OOPS wrong word because I still don't feel old inside. Well most of the times but things are changing so talk to me. Dish. Have a good weekend and if you can find your glasses write to me.




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