Is anything private?

Since I really try to avoid public battles and I still want to have my say I thought I would do it here. I don't know that anyone reads any of the blogs that I do anyway but it's a sure bet this one is read the least. So basically this is a diary entry. LOL


The topic I want to discuss is privacy. Should we be held accountable for the things we say in our homes? Should anyone be able to tape our most private conversations and sell them? Should a person lose their job for their private views, racist or otherwise?

Since this is my diary entry so to speak I'll answer that question for me and me alone. I don't think so.

Now hold up. I'm not saying that teaching your children hateful words is right, but two wrongs don't make a right. A child should not tape private conversations and then offer them to the world.

Would you really like for aunt Bessie to know that you think her potato salad is the worst thing you've ever tasted that you wouldn't feed it to your dog nor give it to the hog as part of the slop they're fed?

Would you want your friend to know you think she's been acting like a tramp. How about your sister, would you want her to know that you think her kids are little brats? Would you like for your husband to know that you fake it and always have?

Everyone says things, mean and hurtful derogatory things. Should every word we say be held up for public scrutiny? Where does it end? Why don't we just have cameras installed in our homes and give big brother an open view to our lives?

Come on people. Is anything private anymore? If anyone does read this I would love to hear your opinion. Thanks.

Dyanne

Another Man's Baby

Let me know what you think of the trailer. As you may have guessed this is not a romance. It's mainstream women's fiction and the story is about Eric Jackson and how he's dealing with his life after serving three tours of duty in Iraq.

Aging

Good morning,

I was just wondering if any of you know the exact moment you started to age. I mean when you really knew it, not when you spotted your first gray hair but when you looked in the mirror and someone else like your mother was staring back out at you.
Now that doesn't mean that I don't think my mother wasn't pretty because she was. But for God's sake she was my mother! And the other thing about it is she's been gone for ten years now. So it's a little spooky to say the least.
When my mother was alive everyone including me thought my sister looked like my mother. Not soon after the funeral I had of course dyed my hair the same color my mom always used. (not on purpose) and relatives were staring at me. I knew the reason but I was ten years younger, no big deal.
Then about five years ago I went to bed with perfect vision and woke not being able to read small print. I went to the eye doctor because something had to be wrong. It was. I was getting old. Then these little things started sprouting on my neck. I'm a nurse but while I'm writing this I can't remember the correct term so I'm just going to keep writing. Anyway these little things are on my neck. UGH!!

Brown spots now pop up on my legs and arms and I still can't make my mother's face leave my mirror. Along comes menopause and well... At least I can say I don't have the usual symptoms. At least not yet and it's been three years.

So how did I know I was going through it. It's too personal to tell here. I was having my pap and told the doctor about it who insisted based on my exam that I wasn't. I told her I was because of some changes that I had noted and insisted on blood work. It came back and yes I had entered that phase of my life. I was just barely crossing it but I was on the doorstep. Guess what as soon as I was proven right the changes I'd noted went away. I knew my body and just wanted paper to back me up.

Now this is the last straw. Well not really because I want to live a long long time. But I was looking at my skin and my God it's looking older. Still soft but older. Now I look in the mirror and Dyanne seems to have disappeared. Where the heck did she go? She can't be the person in the mirror because that's my mother.

Come on talk to me people please. Tell me when did you start to feel old? OOPS wrong word because I still don't feel old inside. Well most of the times but things are changing so talk to me. Dish. Have a good weekend and if you can find your glasses write to me.

Namaste


Dyanne





.

Good Morning

Good Morning,


I'm just popping in to say hello. Not much is happening around here except work work and more work and I'm saying Thank God for that. Many Shades of Gray is doing well. Of course as with any book you have some who don't like it. that's the way it is and will always be . It Comes with the terrority. The day any writer writes and book and not one person complain will more than likely be the day the earth will explode. The Bible has tons of negative reviews.

love ya

Dyanne

Don't ask me what happened but when I uploaded this cover it came out blue. Anyway I have a new book coming out in Nov and since I didn't know about it until a week ago I haven't mentioned it. I've been too busy getting ready for Many Shades of Gray.

Dreams really do come true.

Since I last posted two things happened. I had a birthday on Sept 1 and my friend Fatima Gomez passed away on Sept 3. I didn't want to write anymore about it because mainly I don't want to bring anyone down. But since I asked everyone to pray for peace for her I guess I should at least let you know the outcome.

No matter how sorry I feel that there was nothing I could do in my OWN powers to save her I do know that she was ready to end the suffering. She told me out of her own mouth and she asked me to stop praying for a miracle. I did. It was hard but I did. I wasn't able to pray for peace because being human I still wanted a miracle whether I prayed for one or not.

As Christians we say that we're not afraid of death but we mourn anyway. Regardless of what we say I think we're all just a little afraid of the unknown. I'm not going to lie. I don't want to go. EVER!!! I enjoy living. I don't want anyone I love to go. EVER!! But then again I'm not in control am I?

Just know this, the family is coping and so am I. Thank you for your prayers.

Namaste

Dyanne

A look at the desk of a writer doing edits.

Pictures of my desk when I'm doing edits. The picture of In the Beginning is of the finished product on the bookstore shelves. This one was taken at Barnes & Nobel

Many Shades of Gray

Pictures from a contest I held

I recently held a contest on my yahoo group and I'm posting the winning pictures here. I wanted the ladies to show me a creative picture of what they did with their books.


This picture was the runner up. It was just so darned cute. Can you figure out why? This is Kim' s picture.
The top two you've seen but I love them of Alexis so I had to include them again. They also came from Patsy Nelson but she wasn't allowed to use them for the new contest. Alexis would have won simply because I love the pictures. I hope you all enjoy them. Go to my website and click on joinDyanne's yahoo group if you'd like in on the fun.

Dyanne

Book Signing

Hello everyone,


If anyone is in The Bolingbrook IL. area on Thursday 7-9 P.M. please come to the Barnes and Nobel and say hello. I'd love to see a friendly face and you can have some free raspberry coffee. You don't have to buy a book. Promise.


Dyanne

L.A. Banks.

I had the most fun with L. A. Banks and her street team on July 28th 2007. I'm putting down the date so I'll never forget it. Barbara Keaton, Alicia and Candance brought Leslie/L.A. to Bolingbrook to to my cable show.

To say we howled is putting it mildly. I will be putting an interview up very soon. A shortened version of what we did for the show but come on you know I have to include something on my own site.

And get this. L. A. Banks mentioned me on her blog. Did I say I was a big fan of hers? Can you tell it?


Dyanne

A Prayer Request

Good Morning,I am asking for prayer for my friend Fatima. We've been friends for thirty-five years. We've been together for the birth of four of her adult children and for the raising of my one and her six. We went to nursing school together. We are a part of each other families, attend each other's family reunions.

Fatima has been suffering with cancer for almost six year. She's gone through one life threatening operation after another. She's been through both cardiac and respiratory arrest. Every time that we've been able to hope there has been a new tumor.

Yesterday the diagnosis was handed down that Fatima has two weeks. For some time now my medical knowledge has interfered with my innate beliefs in the power of prayer. But in the end my belief in miracles is stronger than my medical knowledge.

It's really hard for me even at this date not to continue praying for a miracle for Fatima, total and absolute healing.I know that I should be praying for peace for my friend and for her to be alleviated from pain. I can't. I still want a miracle.

So I'm asking of anyone reading this to do what I can't. Please pray for peace for Fatima and a release from her pain.

Dyanne

Reconnecting

Have you ever had one of those days where you're with your friends laughing and everything goes perfectly? Well I had one last night when I met with my three critique partners. I wish one of us had thought to bring a camera. Barb Deanne moved to Germany a little over a year ago. We've all kept in contact but you know how it is not as much as you'd promised. And I have to admit Barb made sure that her family's friends would have no problem reaching them because they arranged to keep the same number and they absorbed the cost of the long distance.

Anyway, Barb Dean, Lauren Ford, and Wendy Byrne were my very first critique partners. In the last few years for one reason or the other that changed. Last night it felt like a new chapter in our friendship and as writers you know what happened. We hashed out an idea for a book. I won't discuss it here. But we're bringing fun back into our relationship.

Dyanne

my website

Good morning,


I don't know if any of you have even noticed that my website is sort of down for repairs. I closed out the one because I found one that I could do myself and I was having a ball. I was putting everything I could think of on the site. It didn't matter what it was I was putting it there. I was like a kid in a candy store. And yes I know the analogy is tired but check the time. That's all I've got. LOL.

Anyway while I was having fun creating this even I saaw that I was over doing it. I placed Amazon stickers all over the site and videos galore.

Then I decided to ask my yahoo group what did they think and if they though I'd over done it a wee bit. Deatri had already told Barb that I'd gone crazy.

One of my wonderful members, I don't know if I should be saying her name I didn't ask her permission (Brenda) said to me, Well Dyanne now that you ask.

And the rest as they say is history. Only I hadn't known that only one page is up. She's showing me the link to what she's changed and I can tell you you will see the improvement. Now get this when she's all done I'm going to ask her to change the color. LOL. And the thing of it is I'm serious. I'm not kidding. I like the color and told her to use the color but now I'm wanting a lighter shade of the same color.

She isn't reading this because she's busy working. But you should see the improvements already. Oh I found that I can still get to my old site from some of the embedded urls that stays on the computer. I'm not going to go and tell you to check it out because there's only one page. Maybe tomorrow if I'm more organized I'll post the links so you can see the difference.

Also I'm going to copy and paste this and put it on my other blogs. I'm telling you this so you don't think I wrote anything different on it. Generally I do but today I'm actually going to work and now's as good a time as any. Have a good day.

Namaste

Dyanne

L.A. Banks comes to town

Can you see me jumping up and screaming? Well I am. L. A. Banks is coming to IL. and to Bolingbrook to do my local cable show. I'm so giddy. Yes, I've met her before several times in fact. But I'm such a huge fan of hers. She's the most gracious person I've ever met. Okay let me change that to one of. LOL.

Beverly Jenkins, Deirdre Savoy, Evelyn Palfrey Katherine Jones are all on that list.


Still to interview the master of the vampire huntress series, wow. I hope I'll be able to do something besides fawn.

My showing will soon be a part of the streaming video so you'll be able to see it. WE're just waiting for the village mayor to approve the order for the equipment. July 28th is when she will be in Bolingbrook.

JULY came and the interview was fantastic. I didn't know I'd never posted this. I'm trying to find a way to post at least a snippet of the video here

Dyanne

Contest

Hello all,


I am going to give away one signed copy of In the Beginning to the first person to read this post and email me with the answer to this question. What work did Adam do before he became a vampire. Email me at davisdyanne@aol.com


Dyanne

Excerpt for In The Beginning

PROLOGUE
1005 A.D.


Lifting the amber ring from the potion, Eyanna realized she felt like the witch some of the local townspeople accused her of being. She shook her head slightly to dispel the thought, concentrating instead on the light that glowed from the ring. She’d poured every bit of magic she possessed into making the amulet. It had to be perfect. She had to protect Adam. He’d given up so much to marry her. If only she felt worthy of his love.
Holding the ring close to her heart, she whispered secret incantations. Then she pierced her skin with the blade she’d prepared for this occasion. Allowing her blood to cover every facet of the stone, she whispered more prayers, forgetting for the moment the right or wrong of what she was doing. She had no choice. Adam had faith in God, more than anyone she’d ever known. But his faith would not be enough to protect him from what was coming. There was an evil presence in their town. She’d sensed it long before she’d begun to see it in her dreams.
Vampires. Only Adam didn’t believe in vampires just as he didn’t believe in witches. He wasn’t afraid of her visions or her abilities to heal. Nor was he afraid when she predicted the future with total accuracy. He loved her, that much she knew. She’d looked into his soul and found it pure. His love for her was the reason she now buried the amber ring soaked in her blood beneath the earth. It had to stay in the ground for one full month to be effective. The evil that was coming for her husband was powerful; the magic to protect him had to be even more powerful. There was no way she could tell Adam what she’d done. Despite his love for her, she suspected he wouldn’t like finding out that she was resorting to such measures after he’d given up the church to marry her.
Rising from the ground, Eyanna brushed her foot over the mound of fresh-turned soil. A shiver ripped through her and again she felt the evil. Vampires were real. If only she could convince Adam of that. She hoped she had time to work the full ritual. The longer Adam wore the amulet, the more powerful it would become. As long as he wore it, he would be safe. No harm would befall him.
***

One month later
Holding the ring in the palm of her hand, Eyanna felt the charge that filled it. Her blood had sealed the ring. Her bargain had been struck. Her eventual death would be the catalyst that would invoke the powerful magic she’d placed on the ring. The incantations and potions would only continue to grow in strength the longer Adam wore the ring. And hopefully one day they would both live again and her blood bond with him would bring them back together. She truly believed their souls would be reunited.
“I have something for you.”
“What is it?” Adam asked.
“It’s a ring, silly.”
“I can see that. But why?” He glanced at his finger. “I already have a ring, your wedding gift to me.”
She should have anticipated her logical husband’s questions. “This ring is special, Adam, I fashioned it especially for you.”
His lips brushed cross her cheek. His heat seared her and she could feel the evidence of his lust. One glance into his eyes and they would be making love. As much as she craved her husband’s touch, this was too important to leave for even a second longer. So much had happened in the month the ring lay beneath the earth.
“You can keep the other ring, Adam. But I want you to wear this one on your left hand close to your heart.”
Adam held up his left hand to look at the ring he now wore. “You’re a silly woman,” he said. “The right hand is just as good. This ring is my wedding gift from you. I can’t remove it.”
“Stop it, Adam!” Eyanna forced the words out. She’d never before spoken rudely to her husband and a shimmer of remorse slithered down her spine. “This is important to me. This ring is special, Adam.”
“So is this one.”
Their eyes locked and Eyanna took in a deep breath. She was going to have to give him more. “This is an amulet,” she stated quietly. “I know you don’t believe me, but it’s true that there are supernatural creatures in our world…in our town. Vampires. I’ve felt them and seen them in my dreams. The wounds I’ve attended to on the townspeople…they’ve been bitten. I made this ring to protect you.”
“Witchcraft, Eyanna?”
“Are you now thinking I’m a witch?”
“I’m asking if this ring you’re so frantically trying to give me has been tampered with. You called it an amulet. What have you done to make it so?”
“Fashioned it with love, allowed the power of the moon and sun to fill it.”
“There is but one power on earth and that’s the power of God.”
“And I have invoked the power of God to shield you with this ring.”
“Invoked?” Adam’s eyes darkened. “Invoked, Eyanna?”
“Prayed, Adam. I’ve prayed.” Her eyes closed. She could not tell him anymore.
“Eyanna, what’s going on? Is it the fire? Don’t worry, my love, I will never allow anyone to burn you. They would have to burn me first. Besides, I already prayed to God and asked him to protect you, to save you from the townspeople, to save you from that horrible fire they insist on keeping.”
“And?”
“And I got my answer from God.” He smiled broadly and kissed his wife’s forehead. “You’re here in my arms, aren’t you? I will never lose you. I will not lose you!” he said more sternly. “Now, stop talking about supernatural creatures and protecting me with amulets.”
He used the pad of one finger to tilt her chin upward. “And, Eyanna, you must stop spouting this nonsense to people. Two men were burned in that fire two days ago. The people claimed they were vampires. I don’t know where they got that idea, but I know it’s not true. Those men were friends of mine. They were Christians, Eyanna, not vampires. God would never allow something as horrible as you describe to befall the faithful. Even if there were such creatures, surely a person’s belief in God would prevent it from happening to them.”
“But Adam—”
“No buts. I stand firm on this.” He brought her closer. “I’m so sorry that I don’t have the means to take you away from this place. Then maybe your dreams would stop. I should have never married you. I want so much more for you than a life of want.”
“Being poor doesn’t bother me, Adam, it never did. My only worry is that I’ve taken you from what you loved the most.”
“No, no, my love, you’re what I love the most.” He took a deep breath and turned away as he blew it out. “My not shepherding the flock doesn’t mean I’ve lost my connection to God. My loving you is right. Our marriage was ordained by God. You know that, I’ve told you often enough. Now please tell me what is really troubling you.”
“I’m so afraid that something will happen to you, that you will be taken from me. Please just humor me, wear the ring.”
“I must know what you’ve done.”
“Call it the wishes of a wife to give her husband a gift. I didn’t know I would have to work so hard to give you a gift, to tell you how much I love you. Perhaps you don’t want my gift because you have become tired of me.” She brought her eyes to his and held his gaze. “Perhaps you regret your decision to leave the church. “
Eyanna allowed a tear to fall, feeling guilty as she did so. Adam had such a tender heart; a woman’s tears would always be his undoing. Another tear fell. “If you think me evil, Adam, I will leave this very night.”
Before the words were done he was holding her in his arms. “I love you, Eyanna, my beautiful wife. I will love you for all eternity. That is my promise and my pledge to you. I will never stop loving you, never. If I live for a thousand years I will love you. If I die and am reborn, I will continue to love you. And if you should die, I will plead with God night and day to return you to me. You’re my reason for living. My soul cannot live without you.”
He took his wedding ring from his finger and slid it unto his right hand, then allowed his wife to place the ring with the huge amber stone on his left hand close to his heart, as she’d requested. The metal scorched his flesh. “Ouch,” he said. When he attempted to remove it, Eyanna stayed his hand.
“Leave it,” she said. “It will be alright. It’s just some herbs causing the heat.”
“Herbs?” Adam laughed. “You expect herbs to protect me from what you say are vampires?”
“Adam, listen to me. This is very important. I want a promise from you.” His lips were hot, trailing kisses across her skin. “Adam, please promise me.”
“I promise. I will never take this ring from my finger.”
“I mean it, swear it.”
“You know I can’t swear.”
Blinking rapidly, Eyanna saw the young priest her husband had been before he left the church. “I’m sorry, Father.” She shook her head. “I forgot.” She gazed into her husband’s eyes as fear for his safety began to grip her. She needed him to swear for the spell to be complete.
“I’m sorry, I forgot I’m no longer a priest. You don’t have to call me Father anymore. I’m your husband. I swear that I will never remove this ring from my finger. I will wear it always.”
“Not even to wash, Adam, nothing. Do you understand? Never take this ring from your finger, never. Understand?”
“Eyanna?”
“Swear to me, Adam.”
“There are no such things as vampires.”
“It doesn’t matter if you believe me. Just swear. And this time I want you to mean it.”
“This ring will not protect me. Only God can do that.”
“Swear,” Eyanna insisted as tears fell from her eyes. “Please swear this to me.”
“If I do, will you stop this nonsense and allow me to make love to my wife?”
“Yes.”
“In that case, I swear I will never remove this ring from my finger for as long as I live. I will keep it next to my heart and I will always think of you, my love.” His lips touched the ring and he felt a strange tingle but forgot it as he caught the lips of his wife.
“I love you, Adam. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I will try to be worthy of you, I swear.”
“You are worthy of me. Now hush and stop talking, woman, I’m trying to kiss you.”
Vampires. Adam thought it was nonsense, Eyanna was aware of that. She felt the lust beginning in Adam as he held her more firmly. Then she heard the moan deep in his throat and all thoughts of vampires slid out of her mind.














Chapter One

Present Day Chicago

The memory flashed through Adam, searing his soul. He felt the fire lick her skin, burning away her flesh, and he screamed out in agony. After a thousand years, he was still tortured by memories from the past.
Adam shivered as he felt the call of another’s blood. Eve. He’d learned her name, entered her dreams and she’d entered his soul.
He wanted her, and not just for a night of pleasure. He wanted Eve for eternity, or at least her lifetime. But she wasn’t the woman who now occupied his bed. Her, he wouldn’t bother to call a second time.
“What’s wrong?”
He could barely see the woman in his bed for the red haze that clouded his vision. He held on to her words, needing them to bring him back into the now. It wasn’t working. What she was doing gave him pleasure but it wasn’t enough. His flesh quivered in her mouth as she attempted to drain him of every drop. It should be enough to stop the images, but it wasn’t. Eve was near and he knew it. His body tensed as he breathed in hard, thinking of her.
With a swiftness that even his vampiric knowing couldn’t forestall, Adam hauled the woman upward in the bed and sank his fangs into her neck. He needed something to obliterate his pain. It fell short because he saw only his companion’s pain, a woman whose name he couldn’t remember.
The blood, hot and fruity, flowed into him, but he felt no rush. There was a sourness to it. The memories—if only it would wash away the memories. But it didn’t. It produced more memories.
“With this ring I thee wed.”
“I love you, Adam.”
“I hate you, Adam.”
An image followed his thoughts: him helpless, Eyanna screaming out in agony. And fire, so much fire, and then more pain; his, hers.
“You’re hurting me, please stop.”
The pitiful moan from the woman in his arms reached him and brought him away from the pit of madness. He searched his memory for her name but it remained elusive. The only name that came to him was Eve and this woman lying in his bed, in fear, wasn’t Eve.
He could barely see his companion for the evening but the haze was lifting. Adam crooned his apologies before licking the wound and cauterizing the area. Master vampire that he was, he’d lost control. It was time he met Eve in person. She was infecting his senses.
When the haze totally cleared, Adam saw the fear in her eyes. Anna, that was her name. “Don’t worry, Anna,” he whispered to her. “For the rest of the evening I will give you only pleasure.”
He moved down her body, finding her slick with sweat. The stench of fear covered her, but he ignored it. He owed her, owed her the pleasure he’d promised her.
When his mouth found her breast taut and ready, Adam could see the fear in her draining away. When the night was done he would be left with her taste in his mouth and she would be left with memories of the greatest night of pleasure of her life.
Adam looked at the woman’s neck before moving down her body. As always, the puncture marks were gone. Now only a bruise remained, which would fade before she left his home. He forced himself to pay more attention to Anna, to stay his mind from Eve. There was plenty of time for him to make contact with her.
***

The sauce from the shrimp scampi dribbled back into the plate. Adam looked down at it, pushing his fork through the food, his mind not on eating but on the woman sitting a couple of tables in front of him. This mortal was truly magnificent. “Eve,” he said, caressing her name and sending his touch to her shoulder. He saw her shudder, felt her heat and smelled her essence as it flowed from between her thighs.
No more proof was needed. Eve’s soul was answering the call of his soul. She’d heard him the entire time. Even when he’d released her from the trance, she’d heard him. Eve belonged to him now; he’d branded her as his own. Very soon he would go to her and offer her a life filled with exquisite pleasure. She would accept him, what mortal wouldn’t?
As he watched the mortal man sitting with Eve, Adam bristled and ran his fingers back and forth over the grooves his nails had furrowed in the wooden table. He’d seen the mortal pinching Eve, trying to bring her out of the trance. Little did the man know that only Adam could release Eve. And little did he know that Adam wanted to kill him for hurting her. She belonged to him now and Adam would not tolerate the mortal hurting her.
He smiled as Eve glared at the man. When he heard her words, Adam’s smile turned into a grin. It appeared that Eve could take care of herself. Rather than being afraid of the trance she had been in, she was angry with her companion.
He glanced curiously at the amber ring that sat on his finger, as it had for a thousand years. For some reason Adam couldn’t fathom, the ring had burned his flesh. The sensation had lasted less than a nanosecond but he’d felt it. Very curious, he thought as he looked at the ring and blinked at the glow it emitted. He glanced in Eve’s direction, watching as she brushed her hand through her hair and gazed at him.
For a second, Adam made eye contact with her before deciding to glance away. “Very soon, Eve,” he whispered into her mind, “very soon.”

***
“Snap out of it, Eve, we’re in public.”
She heard Eric’s voice, had heard him for the past few seconds but she couldn’t explain what was happening to her. It was as it always was, a voice calling out to her. The voice sounded as though it were filled with terror, then anger. It was something she couldn’t identify but had known her entire life. Something or someone was after her. It was as though she was falling into the pit of hell and couldn’t stop the slide, although she desperately wanted to. For most of her life, sexual dreams had dominated her sleep. Telling her mother had done no good. Telling her minister had been even worse. He’d thought she was possessed. Fear of the reaction kept Eve from revealing the powerful attraction she felt for the man shadowing her dreams. She struggled not to hope that he was real.
A shudder of awareness pulled at her and she glanced around before blinking her eyes and settling her gaze on Eric.
“Eve, snap out of it.”
She couldn’t believe it, she felt pain. Eric was pinching her. How had she ever allowed herself to become involved with him? She wasn’t in love with him and he wasn’t in love with her. They were each using the other.
Eve wanted to be with Eric, hoping his connection with the church would save her. Her instincts told her that if the man in her dreams truly existed, he would have the power to destroy her. Countless times her mother had found her naked and writhing on the bed because of her dreams. Eve couldn’t stop the dreams but putting a lock on her door had relieved her mother from having to witness whatever was happening to her. Nothing gave relief to Eve. Neither doctors nor psychiatrists had been able to help. The only clear path had been for Eve to pray, to devote her life to goodness.
Months of observing Eric in a psychology class had convinced her that the life her minister had preached for her to lead was indeed possible. She constantly prayed that Eric’s pious demeanor would somehow rub off on her. Her minister had told her that evil was threatening to overtake her. And she feared it was near.
Eric, on the other hand, was fighting his own demons. Eve wasn’t stupid. The man had never been turned on by her. Eve provided respectability for Eric. It kept the women in the church from pursuing him and it kept his father from badgering him about finding a woman and settling down. Eve fit the bill. She deferred to Eric on religious matters, and her manner of dress spoke of a woman without sexual needs. She would make the perfect wife for the son of a priest. They were together because of their needs, not their desires. Neither had voiced this, but they both knew and they accepted it.
“Eve, stop it.”
Eric’s voice had taken on a cruel edge and his fingers were pinching her skin harder than before. She blinked and blinked again, trying harder to come back, trying to sever the ties with the man who kept coming to her in her dreams. She could swear she’d seen him in the daylight hours watching her, following her. Feeling a touch on her neck, a finger brush across her skin, she’d turned many times trying to catch him, but there’d always been no one there. The feelings were getting stronger. Either Eve was going mad or evil had found her. A tremor touched her soul. Some part of her wanted him. The knowledge came swiftly. It seemed that all her life she’d waited for this man, knowing what he represented. And it hadn’t mattered.
“Eric, are you crazy? Stop pinching me.”
“Where were you? This time you were out for almost five minutes, just staring out into space. It’s freaky.”
“Excuse me if I embarrassed you,” Eve said with all the sarcasm she could muster. “The pinching wasn’t necessary.”
“It was,” Eric fumed. “I looked like a fool sitting at the table with you in a trance. You have a problem. Maybe you should get some help.”
“And maybe you should get help for yours,” she glared. “You think you’re better than I am because your father’s a priest. You think that gives you an automatic pass into heaven. Being judgmental is a sin, Eric. Perhaps your father could counsel us both.”
Eric blanched, visibly shaken. “Just try to control it from now on. I’ll pray for you,” he muttered.
“Pray for yourself,” Eve said. She wished she could call him on not being in love with her, but then she’d have to call herself on not being in love with him.
“And you wonder why I don’t take you out more.”
He said these words under his breath, but Eve heard them, just as she was meant to. For the millionth time she wondered if giving up on her life in order to find peace from a phantom was really worth it.
“Eve, Eve, Eve.”
The voice in her head was calling to her again in a singsong fashion and she fought hard to keep from going under again. She thought of her earlier musings regarding Eric. Her relationship with him was managing to keep her sane, just barely. Still, she remained on this side of the locked psychiatric ward, the side where she chose to remain.

***

Catching the scent of Turkish tobacco, Adam turned to spot Sullivan. He had to be more careful. Adam made a mental note not to take his former friend lightly. He’d heard the rumors that Sullivan planned to overthrow him. It was nothing new; the vampire tried it every fifty years or so.
“Why are you following me?” Adam turned toward Sullivan and gave a snort of derision at Sullivan’s companion, a little weasel of a vampire. Uriel was the worst of the vampire lot, no class, no loyalty.
“This is a public club and I owe you no explanation,” Sullivan said.
A sigh of regret for the things that had torn their friendship apart seized Adam. He took several breaths, readjusting his thoughts, and leveled both with a glare meant to instill terror. In Uriel it did.
“We were not following you, Adam.” Uriel spoke in a hurried voice, stopping when Adam wagged a finger negatively beneath his nose.
Sullivan turned slowly toward Uriel with a look of disgust. For a long moment, he stared. Then he turned toward Adam. “You have a business to run. Don’t you ever worry that I’ll one day take it over?”
“If I was worried, then I wouldn’t have put you in charge.”
“Do you think that makes up for what you did?” The mild irritation Sullivan had displayed toward Uriel was nothing compared to his blind fury toward Adam. “It does not, Adam, and one day I will make you pay.”
“If working for me is so hard, why don’t you leave? You’re a damn vampire; you don’t need me.”
Sullivan studied Adam before allowing his voice to fall back into the cultured tones he preferred. “I want to remain a thorn in your side for the rest of eternity.”
“If you live that long,” Adam said softly with not even a hint of malice in his voice.
“Then as long as I live.”
An impatient breath came from Adam before he could stop it. He had expressed his regret for the last three hundred years, and yet Sullivan had not forgiven him. “Why the hell don’t you smoke the damn things,” he asked and reached for Sullivan’s package of cigarettes that he always toyed with, never daring to smoke. “What?” he asked, looking from Uriel to Sullivan. “Do you think smoking these will kill you?”
“I don’t find you amusing,” Sullivan said quietly.
“You don’t find me anything, but I find you are beginning to bore me.” Adam lit a cigarette and glanced around the club. “Why don’t the two of you find yourselves a companion for the evening, make love, taste some fresh blood. It might be just what you need,” he said pointedly to Sullivan.
“You know very well I don’t desire mortals,” Sullivan replied, glaring at Uriel. “We came here to talk to you, Adam, not to go to bed with mortals.”
Annoyed by the way Uriel was almost salivating as his gaze followed Adam’s around the crowded club made Sullivan snap, “Uriel, remember the job.”
“I remember, but perhaps Adam is right. One more night more or less will not hurt. I do desire mortal women. I don’t discriminate.”
For the first time since sitting, Uriel was displaying an independent thought. The strong smoke drifted upwards into his nostrils and Adam waved it away, then looked at the cigarette in his hand and snapped his fingers, turning the half-burned cigarette into ash.
“You could have just put the thing out in the ash tray…like any other…”
“Mortal? But I’m not a mortal, neither are you. And those things you buy don’t make you into one.”
“And neither does your lusting after one,” Sullivan fired back indignantly.
“Gentlemen, please, there are much better things we can be doing with our time than fighting each other.” Uriel took one of Sullivan’s cigarettes, lighting it by snapping his finger as Adam had done. Then he laughed, shaking his head in the direction of both of them. “Who would believe it, one vampire who doesn’t desire to bed those of our kind, and another who won’t bed mortals.” He laughed harder in spite of the angry looks both Sullivan and Adam were tossing his way. “I do them all,” he confessed. “Blood is blood.”
“And you make such a mess of it.” Secretly Adam was glad that the little weasel had chosen to change the conversation. He hated doing battle with Sullivan over the same old things. An exaggerated sigh filled the momentary pause before Adam continued. “There are other places to inflict your bite, Uriel, places that won’t be seen.”
“I could care less about leaving a mark. I want these mortals to know I exist.” Uriel studied the mortals in the club, then hissed, “I want them to fear me.”
“They fear none of us. We are but things they see on the screen. They make up excuses for us. They write books and make movies and they have determined what we do and don’t do and how we behave. It’s all very funny really when you think about it.”
“All of it is not made up, Adam. All of us cannot walk out into the sun or keep holy water in our homes. All of us cannot wear a crucifix. And none of us have dared to walk into a church and sit.”
“But you could.” This Adam said softly, once again remembering the friendship he’d enjoyed with him long before he’d betrayed Sullivan. “There is no expiration on the offer I made to you.” He glanced toward Uriel and entered Sullivan’s mind. Their conversation was not for the weasel.
Adam repeated his offer. “Take my blood.” He stared directly into Sullivan’s eyes, hoping this time Sullivan would take his offer. Perhaps that would make up for Adam’s killing Joanna. Even though her death was accidental it had been at Adam’s hand. He stared intensely into Sullivan’s eyes, keeping the mind lock with him. Then he blinked, unable to pretend. Joanna had been the last woman Sullivan had loved and the only mortal. Since then Sullivan had never touched another mortal woman in the act of love, only to feed.
“What you have, Adam, is a rare mutation, something that happens in less than a half of one percent of vampires. You can’t just give your immunity from the sun and holy water away that easily.”
“How do you know?” Adam asked seriously. “I’m not the only one with this mutation.”
“Have you ever attempted to transfer it?”
“No.”
“And you never attempted to give me your gift until after Joanna. It would soothe your conscience, wash away your guilt over drinking every drop of her blood.” Sullivan blinked, still maintaining mental contact with Adam. “I don’t want you absolved of your guilt, Adam. I want you to have it until the day you cease to exist. Now get the hell out of my mind.”
“That was rude.” Uriel looked from Sullivan to Adam, pursing his lips into a pout. “Sometimes the two of you behave as though you think I’m stupid, with not a brain in my head. I am a vampire, gentlemen, remember that.”
“I remember and you’re a damn annoying one.” Adam reached out with the power of his mind and applied pressure to Uriel’s carotid artery, increasing it when the vampire turned pleading eyes on him. “You’re a vampire. Stop the groveling and behave like one.” Adam applied even more pressure as he glared at Uriel, then turned to Sullivan, daring him to try to stop him from choking Uriel.
“Kill him if that’s what you want, but it won’t assuage your guilt, will it, Adam? Or should I call you, Father?”
“Stop calling me that!” Adam banged his hand on the table, releasing Uriel from his mental hold. “What the hell do the two of you want? Why are you here bothering me?”
“Dr. Meah needs permission from you to begin research on a new blood. He’s calling it the AB-1.”
Studying Sullivan, Adam said, “You could have authorized that, Sullivan. You have that power.”
“It’s a lot more money than we’ve ever spent on one experiment. I wanted to check with you.”
“It’s only money, Sullivan.” Adam shook his head and swallowed. Though neither of them would admit it, he and Sullivan were both living in their own private hells. “You have my permission to write the checks, spend what’s needed. There will always be more.”
For a long moment, he stared at Sullivan before dragging his gaze to where Uriel sat. “Uriel, stay with me and let’s party. There are a few mortal women who I want to introduce you to.”
Instantaneous distaste crossed Sullivan’s face at Adam’s comments. Seeing it, relief flooded Adam’s body. This was much better. Sullivan’s anger, his disgust, not his pity or the memories of a lost friendship. Walking away, Adam paused and looked over his shoulder at Uriel, the weasel. “Are you coming?” he asked.
His stomach churned with disgust at the look of pleasure that was on the vampire’s face. Am I now reduced to hanging out with beings such as Uriel? He sighed as the vampire came toward him. Tonight he would stomach the vampire.
Tomorrow he would have Eve.

***

Sullivan turned just as Uriel materialized in his den. It annoyed Sullivan that he’d come without asking permission. Glaring at Uriel, he scanned the vampire’s mind. One could never be too careful. He would hate to think that Uriel had changed allegiance and now after a night of fun was working for the invincible Adam. When he saw no change he nodded at Uriel to sit.
“So how was it? Are you now a fan of Adam?”
“Actually we had fun,” Uriel said. “As for being his fan, I’ve always admired him. Adam has a way about him, especially with women, mortal and vampire alike.”
“Adam won’t touch a vampire.”
“Maybe not to make love to them, but he does touch them and they touch him.”
Disgust filled Sullivan for Adam and Uriel’s actions. Both vampires had always appeared to have insatiable sexual appetites, unlike Sullivan who preferred a mate. It had been a long time since he’d had one.
Glancing around the den to bring his own thoughts under control, he glared when his gaze landed on Uriel and he saw the intensity with which the other vampire was studying him.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“What’s going on with you two? What was Adam offering you?” Uriel asked.
“Why didn’t you ask Adam?”
As he’d known, Uriel didn’t have an answer. He was much too cowardly to ever question Adam in this manner. It annoyed him that Uriel didn’t have that same fear of him. He had to be careful, set boundaries, let the vampire know who was in charge.
“You think you have the right to ask me this?” Sullivan said.
“I didn’t mean any disrespect. But it’s just…well…I thought things were different between us. I thought we were friends. Partners,” Uriel offered.
Sullivan stared for a long moment, not sure how to answer Uriel’s question, not sure if he would.

In the Beginning

I am so excited, I'm almost jumping up and down. Adam Omega is finally making his debut. The book is going to be coming out on time and Adam is as thrilled about that as I am.

Listen, I know not all of you like novels with vampires and that's okay. But I still know that you're going to be happy for me.

For those of you who are readers please don't go, But Vampires can't do that. Adam can. I know. Besides, this is fiction. And it's classified as speculative fiction. I like that. It means I can write what I want. No rules. No Restrictions. YEAH!!

Dyanne/ F. D. Davis

P.S. you all noticed that I'm using a pseudonym so my romance readers won't pick up something they don't like thinking it's something else.

What a pretty baby

I have to share a picture of one of the cutest babies around. If you have one just as cute send me the picture. The one picture is of my neice and myself three years ago before she had the baby. She's a cutie also.

Dyanne

Excerpt for my three Amazon Shorts

A Bad Boy’s Heart

Damien’s pants pockets begin to vibrate, and again he thought, Mia, hoping before he allowed the hope to die that it would be her. But it wouldn’t be. He knew it. His heart still felt same coldness it had the night she’d accused him of trying to steal from her brother.
He may have been a dog but he’d never stolen from anyone. The very idea that the woman he loved could think he would steal from her brother and break her heart… that he couldn’t forgive. Who the hell was he kidding? All Mia had to do was come to him and he’d forgive her. He sighed and reached into this pocket for the phone. No one ever called him at the zoo.
“Damien Terrell?”
“Yeah,” Damien answered. “Who’s this?”
“Latayara, Jones from Mr. Sal’s. We met when you came in to audition for singer. Are you still interested?”
This couldn’t be happening. Damien gripped the slender phone in his hand. Interested? Hell yes, he was interested.
“Are you saying I got the job?”
“Sure, it’s yours if you want it. Why do you think I called?”
“Thanks.”
“You’ve got a good voice, I’m sure the women at the club will be pleased. Before long you’ll have your pick of women in the city of Chicago.” Latayara, laughed. “You’ll see.”
When the last of the details were discussed, Damien flipped the phone close and stared at it. Latayara was wrong. He wouldn’t be able to have his pick of women. There was only one woman he wanted and that was Mia.
Mia, he thought and glanced at the phone again. He wanted to call and tell her his dream had finally come true. She’d been so sure, so confident in his abilities. She’d straight out told him that if he didn’t go after his God given talents she would lose respect for him.
It hadn’t taken more than that. Losing Mia’s respect wasn’t even an option, despite his father telling him he was whipped. He’d given him that. He’d played that role for Mia, but not anymore.
When his phone rang again Damien was stunned. Two calls in one day. He looked at the number, and not one of the calls was from Mia. “Yeah, Pop,” he answered.
“What’s with the attitude?” Charles Terrell snorted. “You still jonesing bout that smart alecky girl you been running after, the one that’s got your nose open like a Mack truck?”
“Lay off, Pop.”
“I’m not gone lay off till you stop acting like a damn punk and start acting like a man. You make me ashamed of being your damn father, boy. Grow the hell up.”
Damien counted to ten determined not to get into a fight with his father over Mia. His father had never met her and yet he hated her. Part of that was Damien’s fault. He should never have told his parents that Mia thought she was better than he. That was the catalyst that kicked it all off.





http://www.amazon.com/Dreams-Are-Only-for-Entertainment/dp/B000JJ4I8M/sr=1-5/qid=1170857655/ref=sr_1_5/002-4255742-5498400?ie=UTF8&s=books




1
Dreams Are for
Entertainment
by DYANNE DAVIS
One a.m. and nearly a hundred people still partied in the streets on the corner of
Madison and California, what was known in the neighborhood as Catfish Corner. In the heart of
what many termed the ghetto. Yet, Heaven could not have felt more at ease or more a part of her
people.
For seven years, Alderman Wallace Davis had owned and operated the catfish restaurant
and provided a place for folks to congregate, eat, drink, dance and feel safe, much like a block
party. The Chicago Police were forever trying to find a reason to close the alderman down, but
nothing had ever happened: not one fight had jumped off. All he had to do was remind the
people that the law was looking for a reason to close him down and they banded together tighter
than Dick’s headband.
An affordable night out for the working class and those barely working and just
struggling to survive had been the goal. The musicians played for free, depending on the collections taken up on their behalf.

Heaven sighed and looked at Mike the good-looking brother who had been
glued to her side all night, thinking when the night ended he was going to get some. Psyche. No
way. She smiled, batting her eyes at the brother. She did love the brothers and she did used to
love to flirt. But that was back in the day when Brandon had been her safety net, and the men had
known she was with Brandon and that nothing was going to happen but a few dances and a look
or two. Now it was getting downright dangerous to give that certain look to a man. He would be
ready to strip down and claim something she’d never offered.

Laugher so rich and full bubbled from his brown berry lips that Heaven stood still for a
moment and just watched him. He’d been pushing up on her all evening and he was fine. Too
fine, in fact and his line, though tired, had amused her; made her remember she was a woman
and not a troll. Heaven was grateful to Mike for showing her that there were some good looking
brothers that still preferred the color brown and all its varieties to vanilla latté.
Heaven laughed pushing his hand away from her butt.
“Come on, baby, you feel so good, just give a brother a little something something.”
Once again Heaven pushed his hands away. “Don’t make me go ghetto on you. I don’t
play that touching when I haven’t given you permission.”
“Then give me permission, baby.”


Back to Amazon.com
1 http://www.amazon.com/Only-You/dp/B000JJ4I8C/sr=1-9/qid=1170857722/ref=sr_1_9/002-4255742-5498400?ie=UTF8&s=books

Only You
by DYANNE DAVIS
Jake’s hand moved up Torrie’s thigh as he heard her moan his name. He placed butterfly
kisses on the outside of her thigh not daring to move so much as an inch inward. He shivered as
the lust claimed him, but was determined to take this slow. He’d waited a lifetime to make love
to Torrie, he wouldn’t rush it now.
“Jake…now.”
“Not now, baby, we’ve got forever. We have the rest of our lives.”
“But I want you, now please, Jake.”
He shuddered hard. Damn he wanted her, too. But he wanted her to forever remember
their first time together, and if he took her now when he was so hot there would be nothing to
remember. It would all be over the moment he felt her heat surround him.
“Take it down a notch, Torrie. I swear baby, you won’t be disappointed.” Jake moved
upward; he was too close to Torrie’s sweetness, too close to where he wanted to be, too close to
not give in and take a taste. White-hot desire shot through him, and he shuddered hard,
determined to hold on. He kissed her hip then her belly and began working his way back up her
body until he was looking down at her chocolate tipped mounds. She tasted delicious, and she
smelled so good. He loved touching her beautiful chocolate skin. He’d never known anyone with
skin a soft as Torrie’s. His breathing was coming faster, he was darn near panting. He had to
slow it down or it would be over even before he had a chance to feel her heat. Talk, he thought,
talk to her while you make love to her.

Hey there everyone,

Guess what, My book, Misty Blue won an Emma at Romance Slam jam for best cover. It's an award I will gladly share with the graphic artist, Chris Esler. Congrats to the both of us Chris. You for designing the cover and me for writing the book. We make a good team. Also I know that Niani Colom had the cover concept so congrats to her as well.

Misty Blue was also a finalist for best sequel and me for author of the year. In these two instances I will say it was a pleasure having been nominated. Yeah Right!! LOL. But it really is when all is said and done and I can use that on my ever increasing bio. Take care all I will post pictures next week

In case you're wondering the picture is on my son from years before when he went skydiving. He's in the orange suit. I used it because winning an award makes you feel like you're flying

Amazon Shorts

Guess what? I just figured out how to post the links to my shorts on Amaazon. I know that makes me more than pitiful but come on I've had a lot on my plate lately. anyway if you get a chance check them out. They're only .49. http://www.amazon.com/Dreams-Are-Only-for-Entertainment/dp/B000JJ4I8M/sr=1-5/qid=1170857655/ref=sr_1_5/002-4255742-5498400?ie=UTF8&s=books



http://www.amazon.com/Only-You/dp/B000JJ4I8C/sr=1-9/qid=1170857722/ref=sr_1_9/002-4255742-5498400?ie=UTF8&s=books

Romance readers

I just have to share this picture with anyone who might drop by. Patsy Nelson is the Human who shares Alexis life. Not owner people, Alexis doesn't have an owner. LOL. Also congratulations are in order. Alexis just recently delivered though I don't know how many or the sex of the babies.

Many Shades of Gray (excerpt)

Chapter one

Okay, I’m not a heroine, I’m a flesh and blood woman and I’ve made a lot of dumb ass mistakes in my life. So if you’re looking for someone to emulate I would suggest that you close this book and find someone else. I am not the one you’re looking for.
This is not a pretty little romance where all of the characters will do what you want and you will be left with a feel good feeling. I have no idea how this will play out.
It’s my life we’re talking about and it’s real. Most days it’s so damn real that I want to rewrite it. It’s ugly and it’s brutal but it’s me. If you can handle real life then you might just be able to handle what I’m going to write.
If you’re still reading, good. You’re the one I’m looking for. What I will tell you will be an honest story of my life and I won’t pull any punches. I’m not asking you to root for me and I’m definitely not asking for sympathy. If I were the one reading this story and learning of my bitchiness for the first time I would definitely want to slap the hell out of me and fling the book across the room.
But even bitches have a reason for being that way. Trust me. Just don’t judge until you have all of the facts.
If you’re still with me, I suggest we get started.
***
Simon laid the page back on Janice’s desk and walked up the stairs to see if she was ready. He wondered what the hell her book was going to be about. He knew one thing for certain: She was definitely starting it out differently from any of the others. Another thing he knew: She had left the first page there for him to see. If she had not wanted him to read it she would have closed the door to her study, a signal that she wanted her office to remain private, or she would not have not printed it. But now he’d read it and she had him curious, as always.

***
Janice gazed in the mirror, surveying her appearance. Everything had to be perfect. She was about to be in the public eye. Again. And no matter how often she was, she always felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach.
As a writer she was used to the attention paid to her but this time would be different. This would be the first time that her relationship with Simon Kohl would be the main focus. It would also open the flood gates to questions regarding her meteoric rise to fame in the last two years. Had she slept her way there? And the answer to that was yes. Well, in a way.
For the past three years she’d been sleeping with the most powerful man in publishing. While he was mostly unknown to writers, agents and editors, the powers that be, the money moguls, knew exactly who Simon Kohl was. He owned more than half the publishing houses in the world and kept his anonymity by allowing those companies to operate as though he didn’t exist.
He owned everything from the tree farms where the trees were harvested especially to make the paper for his printing presses to a plastic factory that distributed the tiny holders that the reporters who tried unsuccessfully to catch a glimpse of him used to carry their name badges.
And she was about to be brought full force into his world. There would no longer be the whispered rumors or innuendos. Today they would announce their engagement. After today there wouldn’t be one single person left who would believe that she had a smidgen of talent. Though she’d made a name for herself long before Simon, she couldn’t deny that it was Simon that had boosted her career. Not for one second could she allow herself to forget that he held the authority to easily take away what he’d given her.
A shiver ran down her back and she frowned slightly, looking at her image in the mirror. Her long hair, soft and curling, framed her honey brown face to perfection. Her deep set brown eyes tilted up a little, giving her a bit of an exotic look. And her five-foot-nine frame gave her a regal bearing. Janice tilted her head to the side, allowing what she knew to be true to seep into her pores and become a part of her armor.
She was a beautiful woman; there was no doubt about it. But she’d given up a lot to get to this point in her life. Her very large and vocal family including siblings, uncle, aunts and cousins thought she’d given up her heritage. As they often said, she no longer acted black, whatever the hell that meant.
There had been a time in her life when she’d worn her feelings on her sleeve and accusations such as that had cut deeply. A shiver passed through her as she thought about Tommie Strong. Look what that relationship had gotten her.
“Hey, aren’t you ready yet?”
Janice’s eyes slid back to the mirror to peer over her shoulder at Simon, who’d just come to stand behind her. Simon was the final proof to the black world that Janice Lace was a sell-out. He was white.
Despite what her family thought she’d not set out deliberately to become engaged to a man outside her race. That had just happened. And why shouldn’t it? Simon was an extremely handsome man who’d chased her until she’d allowed him to catch her. He was a well built man in his late thirties, tall enough that she didn’t have to resort to wearing flats. Simon swore he was six-three, but she thought he was just a little under. He had the thickest, softest hair she’d ever felt on a man. It always made her think of dark chocolate. His smile never failed to cause a slight hitch in her chest, though she kept that from him. He had deep dimples in each cheek and when his lips were pulled back into a smile, she could just imagine falling into those dimples. As attractive as she found him, it was his eyes that enthralled her.
He had startling gray eyes that could shoot fear into the deepest marrow of her being. Filled with lust, they almost made her believe that the two of them were right for each other. Almost. But it really didn’t matter. In spite of her doubts she would stand beside him at the podium when he announced to the world that they would be getting married. And she would smile as though she’d won the top prize. It was, after all, what she’d wanted, what she’d worked her tail off to achieve.
“I’m ready,” she answered finally.
“What took you so long in here?”
She turned to face him. “I wanted to look perfect for you.”
“You’re always perfect. Are you nervous?” He narrowed his eyes and surveyed her coolly. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“No second thoughts.” She lowered her gaze. “What would make you think that?”
“The way you looked down just then and the fact that you didn’t want to marry me before. It’s almost as though you’re somehow ashamed of me.” He grinned. “That’s stupid, though, isn’t it?”
“Why would I be ashamed of you? Look at you. You’re a handsome man, smart and funny.”
“And don’t forget rich,” he teased. “That’s the real reason that you’re marrying me.”
His words made her wince and she turned away, wanting to withhold the truth from him, even if she couldn’t from herself. She had not told him how she felt. What good would it do to tell him that she loved him? She’d given her heart to one man and told him that she loved her. He’d left her knowing how she felt. Janice glanced at Simon. She wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. Saying the words would only give him power over her, so she didn’t say them. She believed that was part of the reason he stayed interested. She allowed him and the world to believe it was his money she was after. After all, she’d not bothered to talk to him until she’d known exactly who he was.
“Come on, Janice, we both know you’re with me for what I can do for you. You’re not in love with me.”
“Are you in love with me?”
“I want to marry you.”
“That wasn’t the question. Are you in love with me?”
“I love having pretty things and I like the finality of marriage, knowing that I’ve closed the deal, so to speak. I don’t like what shacking up represents—instability, no commitments. It’s just a nice way of having someone available for a ready screw.”
He was being deliberately crude. She knew it was because she hadn’t admitted to being in love with him. Whenever the subject of love came up, Simon always behaved this way. If Janice didn’t know better, she would think he did love her. But she did know better. He didn’t love her; he wanted to possess her.
For the most part he did. He controlled her career completely. But apparently that wasn’t enough. He’d almost demanded that she say yes to his endless proposals. Sometimes she wondered why it mattered so much to him.
She watched in the mirror as he toyed with the Rolex around his wrist. His jaw was set firmly and his brows furrowed. There was something up with him. What? she wondered.
“I read the beginning of your new book.”
She wanted to turn around, to face him, read his thoughts. But she’d play it cool, behave as though what he thought didn’t matter. “So what did you think?” she asked finally as she fluffed her hair around her face.
“I noticed you wrote it in first person. Is it going to be autobiographical?”
“I guess it could be.” She smiled. “I’m not sure. I just wrote what came out. What do you think of the beginning?”
“I don’t like giving my opinion on a book until I’ve read the entire thing.”
“Simon.”
“Okay, it’s different.”
“That was my intention. I’m sick to death of writing stories with an end the reader can predict from the first paragraph. I want to write about characters that are, for lack of a better word, evil and mean. I want them to do stupid things. I want them to be human. I don’t want a hero and I don’t want a heroine.” She tilted her head just a tiny bit and smiled into the mirror. “I want the protagonist to be more like me.”
“Am I going to be in it?”
“I didn’t say it was going to be a true story. It’s a work of fiction.”
“In that case I’ll hold off on my critique. I have a surprise for you.” He came closer, turned her around and kissed her.
A flutter ripped her sense of calm and she hesitated before asking, “Where is it?”
“Surprises are not to be just lightly given. There has to be something leading up to it. You’ll get it, don’t worry.”
His gray eyes suddenly looked cold and he moved away from her, giving her the sense that her surprise wasn’t going to be pleasant.
“What’s up with you?” she asked, feigning a curiosity she didn’t truly feel. She’d made her deal with the devil, so to speak, and there was no going back. She’d come into this relationship with her eyes wide open. They each served a purpose for the other.
For Simon, she was exotic arm candy, entrée into the black world, his way of proving that he was a man of the people. She almost laughed at the thought. He truly thought he was, but he would never be able to buy his way into being black, same as she could never buy her way into being white. They served as passports for each other, allowing each to travel the other’s world. At any time they could each cross back over into the world they’d come from.
But for Janice there was no going back. She was in Simon’s world for a reason, a reason known only to her. And she’d kept it deeply buried in her heart.
“Is there a chance that you could at least pretend to be happy when we make the announcement?” Simon asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Sure, I can pretend if you can.” She squared off with him. “I don’t get it. You’re behaving as though you’re angry with me and I have done nothing to provoke your anger, so either tell me what’s going on or knock it off. I swear, you’re worse than a woman having PMS.”
“Why do you risk what we have?” Simon said as he sidled up next to her, fingered the double strand of expensive pearls around her throat and frowned. “Sometimes I think you forget who I am and what I can do.”
“How can I? You remind me constantly.”
“Is that the reason you don’t love me?” he asked pointedly.
“What is all this talk of love? What’s with you?”
“I’m thinking I’m too old for this charade. I want to be happy. I want a family, I want love.”
“You have to love in order to be loved.” Janice started to walk away but felt strong hands reach out, grabbing her and holding her in place.
“Let me go,” she ordered.
“Or what?”
“Or you’re going to wish that you had.”
“As you wish,” Simon replied, releasing her, smiling at her and shaking his head in wonder. He wished he knew what the hell it was about her cold disdain that had made him fall in love with her, kept him trying to please her, trying to make her love him.
Well, actually, he knew in his heart that she loved him even if she refused to say it. And despite her public persona she proved it in the privacy of their home. No woman touched a man the way she touched him other than in love. He thought about the times in the still of the night when he held her in his arms, caressing her, and she softly shared her dreams, telling him without the actual words that she loved him. When they made love she always kept her eyes open, and for sure he saw her love reflected there.
Now Simon was after two things: He was going to make her tell him that she loved him and he was going to discover why she had thus far been unable to do so. In the next couple of hours the game would begin.
Though in the beginning he hadn’t been altogether sure that it was love he felt for Janice, it had angered him that she’d didn’t admit to feeling love for him. Maybe that was the reason he’d chased her until she ended up in his bed. At first he’d wondered what would happen if they both cared. Now he wondered what would happen when they both admitted to caring.
One thing for sure, Simon didn’t want Janice for an enemy and she sure as hell didn’t want him for one. They would settle their differences in the marriage bed. But he wasn’t marrying her until they resolved her past. He believed he’d discovered the reason why she went cold when he talked of love, why she substituted fighting for admitting her feelings for him. Well they’d fought for over three years. It was time to end the war.
He had a test for his soon to be fiancée. He demanded one thing and one thing only from her and that was fidelity. Her verbal abuse and disdain he might tolerate as long as it stayed behind closed doors, and so far Janice had played her part well in public, pretending that she adored him when they both knew that wasn’t the case. Loved, maybe. That he stood a shot at. Adored? No way in hell would Janice Lace ever adore any man.
At least he was hoping that part was true. He didn’t want her giving to any man something that she couldn’t or wouldn’t give to him. In the past he had tolerated many things from her. But now it would be different. He was marrying her.
“This is supposed to be a happy occasion.” He smiled inwardly as she eyed him with disdain. “You’re treating me as though I’m the enemy. Anyone watching this display of temper might think it was only my money that you’re interested in.” He braced himself for her expected answer.
“I have my own money,” she sneered.
“Money that you wouldn’t have if it weren’t for me.”
She glared at him and he grinned. He loved getting a real response from Janice, even if it were only one of anger. God she was beautiful when she was angry. Simon could feel himself growing hard with wanting her. He watched as her brown eyes flashed red fire. Then she suddenly looked toward his crotch and smiled.
“You always manage to get me, don’t you?” To Simon’s surprise she walked back to him, plastered her body to his, and slid her hand down the length of him, making him groan with need. His chest tightened and his arms went automatically around her, pulling her close. She didn’t move away. Instead, she kissed him, sliding her tongue between his lips. He felt her tremble, felt the fire in her and for a moment he thought they would make love. Then she pulled away, eyed him up and down, and grinned.
“Admit it, Simon, you like our relationship just fine the way that it is.”
She tossed that wild mane of hair and walked out of her bathroom, leaving him with a hard-on. And the moment faded. She’d been merely teasing him, showing him that regardless of his money, she was in control.
Simon licked his lips. He could buy women and all the sex that he wanted. He could even buy his way into a culture that wasn’t his, but that he loved. And he could do that without Janice on his arm. But he didn’t want to. He wanted her and God help him if it wasn’t love. Still he wanted her and he wanted a stable family with her. He just had to make sure that her feelings for the man in her past were dead.
He took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom. Janice wasn’t a stupid woman; she wouldn’t risk everything.
A little voice whispered into his brain that he should leave well enough alone but he’d never done things the easy way and he wasn’t about to start now. No. One thing Simon wasn’t, was a coward. He allowed the sigh to escape and glanced down at his now semi-soft erection. That woman could make him hard as steel with but a touch and she could also deflate him quicker than a child could release air from a balloon.
What a life we’ll have, he thought as he walked out of the bathroom and into his future. He smiled at Janice and she smiled back and again he wondered. Maybe if he said it first. He took her arm. Maybe after they were safely married he’d tell her he loved her. Maybe.